Thankful Thursday: Asking the Questions

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His disciples said, “Finally! You’re giving it to us straight, in plain talk—no more figures of speech. Now we know that you know everything—it all comes together in you. You won’t have to put up with our questions anymore. We’re convinced you came from God.”

Jesus answered them, “Do you finally believe? In fact, you’re about to make a run for it—saving your own skins and abandoning me. But I’m not abandoned. The Father is with me. I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.”

John 16:29-33

(The Message)

I don’t have all the answers.

“To which questions?” you ask.

Most of them.

And that’s perfectly all right.

Because I do have the answer to the one of life’s most important questions: Is the above passage true?

Absolutely!

So with that belief as my foundation, I am learning to say “I don’t know” in response to a lot of extremely consequential questions — and I feel just fine about that. This is an accomplishment for me because I have always felt that I need to have all the answers all the time. Or at least make people think that I do. I was taught to appear confident, self-assured, composed, authoritative and never let anyone see my frailties, doubts, moments of utter self-doubt, pondering. But pride exacts a great toll over time.

I am a “work in progress” and I am learning to be thankful for and comfortable in my evolution because it is framed and informed by my knowledge that “I’m not abandoned.”

In recent days, I have found some amazing blogs written by other folks who are struggling with many of the same questions to which I seek answers. Some of them have had life and church experiences that parallel my own.

I am doing a lot of reading and studying in an effort to understand how all the pieces of my faith and faith practices fit together. Grace, forgiveness, communion, prayer, what it means to really worship, how it should be fashioned if it should be fashioned at all . . .

The disciples accepted Jesus’ representations and told him they wouldn’t bother him with any more questions. He knew, of course, the level of their understanding and that they were really just beginning to formulate their questions. He knew that he would be betrayed, denied and suffer greatly so that his disciples and all the world could find the answers to the questions that perplex all of us and the peace that asking those questions and working to find answers brings.

I believe that he wants us to question, ponder, debate, discuss . . . so long as we do so with the knowledge that we are seeking answers to questions about the nuances and details — after we have come to understand and accept the “big picture.”

So today I am thankful that I feel inquisitive, curious and eager to understand more fully and develop a richer, deeper, more mature faith. I have a stack of books on my desk and many blogs and websites bookmarked. I want to study, learn and attempt to see more clearly:

We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

1 Corinthians 13:12

(The Message)