Thankful Thursday: Asking the Questions

His dis­ci­ples said, “Finally! You’re giv­ing it to us straight, in plain talk—no more fig­ures of speech. Now we know that you know everything—it all comes together in you. You won’t have to put up with our ques­tions any­more. We’re con­vinced you came from God.”

Jesus answered them, “Do you finally believe? In fact, you’re about to make a run for it—saving your own skins and aban­don­ing me. But I’m not aban­doned. The Father is with me. I’ve told you all this so that trust­ing me, you will be unshak­able and assured, deeply at peace. In this god­less world you will con­tinue to expe­ri­ence dif­fi­cul­ties. But take heart! I’ve con­quered the world.”

John 16:29–33

(The Mes­sage)

I don’t have all the answers.

“To which ques­tions?” you ask.

Most of them.

And that’s per­fectly all right.

Because I do have the answer to the one of life’s most impor­tant ques­tions: Is the above pas­sage true?

Absolutely!

So with that belief as my foun­da­tion, I am learn­ing to say “I don’t know” in response to a lot of extremely con­se­quen­tial ques­tions — and I feel just fine about that. This is an accom­plish­ment for me because I have always felt that I need to have all the answers all the time. Or at least make peo­ple think that I do. I was taught to appear con­fi­dent, self-assured, com­posed, author­i­ta­tive and never let any­one see my frail­ties, doubts, moments of utter self-doubt, pon­der­ing. But pride exacts a great toll over time.

I am a “work in progress” and I am learn­ing to be thank­ful for and com­fort­able in my evo­lu­tion because it is framed and informed by my knowl­edge that “I’m not abandoned.”

In recent days, I have found some amaz­ing blogs writ­ten by other folks who are strug­gling with many of the same ques­tions to which I seek answers. Some of them have had life and church expe­ri­ences that par­al­lel my own.

I am doing a lot of read­ing and study­ing in an effort to under­stand how all the pieces of my faith and faith prac­tices fit together. Grace, for­give­ness, com­mu­nion, prayer, what it means to really wor­ship, how it should be fash­ioned if it should be fash­ioned at all …

The dis­ci­ples accepted Jesus’ rep­re­sen­ta­tions and told him they wouldn’t bother him with any more ques­tions. He knew, of course, the level of their under­stand­ing and that they were really just begin­ning to for­mu­late their ques­tions. He knew that he would be betrayed, denied and suf­fer greatly so that his dis­ci­ples and all the world could find the answers to the ques­tions that per­plex all of us and the peace that ask­ing those ques­tions and work­ing to find answers brings.

I believe that he wants us to ques­tion, pon­der, debate, dis­cuss … so long as we do so with the knowl­edge that we are seek­ing answers to ques­tions about the nuances and details — after we have come to under­stand and accept the “big picture.”

So today I am thank­ful that I feel inquis­i­tive, curi­ous and eager to under­stand more fully and develop a richer, deeper, more mature faith. I have a stack of books on my desk and many blogs and web­sites book­marked. I want to study, learn and attempt to see more clearly:

We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squint­ing in a fog, peer­ing through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, know­ing him directly just as he knows us!

1 Corinthi­ans 13:12

(The Mes­sage)

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