In “other” Words: Gentleness — It’s Not Just for Women
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“Gentleness is part of being feminine - part of being a woman, and God made us distinctly different from men on purpose!”
The quote for this week actually comes from a devotion entitled “A Gentle Breeze or a Sledge Hammer” which is aimed exclusively at women and based upon this verse:
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)
In recent months, I have been reading The Message and absolutely love it. Here’s how the same passage is presented in that translation:
But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard — things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.
The Message was created from the original Greek in order to help readers experience the “vitality and directness” of the texts in the same way as the earliest audiences. It was not intended to be a study Bible. Rather, “The Message strives to help readers hear the living Word of God—the Bible—in a way that engages and intrigues us right where we are.” I generally compare several different versions of the same passages because I learn a great deal by comparing several translations and considering the various ways in which the translations differ slightly.
Interestingly, I have not found a single translation that limits the above-cited verses’ application to women. Gentleness is not the sole province of women and it is not only wrong to suggest that it is, it is harmful and destructive. Men are equally capable of gentleness and to prove that proposition, you need look no further than the Bible which references “the gentle but firm spirit of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:1) and admonishes all persons to be “gentle with one another” (Ephesians 4:31). The Psalms portray the diverse characteristics of the Divine Creator, gentleness and compassion alongside strength and ferocity.
Church leaders must be “not pushy, but gentle” (1 Timothy 3:1). Ironically, some denominations rely upon that very book to justify their denial of leadership positions to women.
With all due respect to Ms. Chitwood, gender stereotypes such as those set forth in her devotion are outdated, inappropriate, and do not advance the very principle she espouses, i.e., the creation and maintenance of a gentle and loving marital relationship.
After all, who was the first real feminist? None other than Jesus Christ himself. Lest you be tempted to quit reading and close the browser window right now, consider that the true meaning of “feminism” — a dirty word among many Christian women — is “the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.” Who could argue with a straight face that there is anything wrong with those goals? Certainly not Jesus, who said:
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church — a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor — since they’re already “one” in marriage.
Ephesians 5:25-28
Those were radical words in those days! Jesus was a radical feminist! Putting women on the same level as Jesus’ church on earth was a wild idea in an age when women had absolutely no value or standing in the culture, and were bought and sold like the chattel that they were. I believe that today, given the steps that have been taken toward the establishment of an egalitarian society, he would direct his words to men and women.
“Gentleness is part of being feminine human - part of being a woman loving and compassionate human being, and God made us distinctly no different from men in this regard on purpose! God wants us — male and female — to bring our gentleness to our marriages, to love our husbands spouse with the tender love of God. Our tenderness woos our husbands spouse and allows them us to be vulnerable with each other in return.”
With that foundation, Ms. Chitwood’s “Application Steps” are insightful and helpful to all of us in our relationships with each other:
Application Steps:
- Enjoy God’s quiet presence and tender love.
- Don’t let harshness become a bad habit. Begin to replace it with gentleness.
- Practice patience.
- Refrain from interrupting, correcting or nagging your husband/wife.
- Think before you speak. Do you really need to say what you’re about to say?
- Spend time with friends or family — male and female — who have a gentle spirit and observe.
Reflections:
- How do you think being gentle helps your marriage? How does harshness hinder your marriage?
- Do you have any fears about being gentle toward your
husbandspouse? Be honest before the Lord and ask Him to give you His gentleness.
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
What thoughts!! I posted today that as women often our tone in the home directly influences everyone…especially those men who may not see gentleness as a ‘gift.’
By being a gentle spirit, we can put others at ease and accomplish so much more…as Jesus himself was able to do…gently and lovingly!
thank you for the reminder…
peace,
lori
WOW! Great thoughts. Do you know that I said nearly the same thing (see my blog)…only you took it a lot further than I did. I’m glad to read your post and find myself in good company. Have a great day.
Dirtyhands4Him’s last blog post..In Other Words, 10/16
Bless you for sharing your thoughts.
Miriam Pauline’s last blog post..In Other Words—A Gentle Admonishment
You are awesome, really enjoyed this post.
Denise’s last blog post..A thru Z-N is for neighbor
Great post and a great analogy.
Blessings!
Awesome thoughts on todays quote! The Lord has blessed you with the gift of words- I really enjoyed reading your post! God Bless
Shannon’s last blog post..In “Other” Words
women are for sure gentle creatures that help bring good out in men..ask my Mom ;). Three sons, and a husband…house full of men and she takes care of us and puts us in her place with her nurturing spirit.
Nice post, and one that I completely agree with. Men can, and should be, just as gentle as women.
NeoBluePanther’s last blog post..BYBS - Reality Talent Shows
I love your applications and reflections!! You stated some things that I’m really going to take to heart and ponder.
Thank-you for your thoughts today.
Kim’s last blog post..In Other Words
Thank you for sharing on this quote. We all need the gentleness of Jesus’ spirit to be a testimony to others. Thank you for sharing.
Well, hello ma’am! I do hope you have been doing well!
I enjoyed reading your take on this quote. I must admit that I read this it quite differently. I guess that I should have gone back and read the entire devotional. My perception was not that ‘gentleness’ was a feminine only trait but that we women should embrace it more in this world that trains us to do otherwise. I read “and God made us distinctly different from men on purpose” as a statement in itself. But again, I did not read the devotional.
With that said I completely agree with what you have written here about both genders being equally given the spirit of gentleness. You bring forth many good points. Jesus was a feminist in the defined sense of the word. I find some of today’s self-proclaimed feminist try harder to be men rather than to be equal to them. There is a huge difference. Jesus’s way is the right way.
I’m glad you posted today. Have a awesome week!
Very nice post - and right on!
[...] Hopeful Spirit wrote a fantastic post today on “In â??otherâ?? Words: Gentleness â?? Itâ??s Not Just for Women”Here’s ONLY a quick extractThe Message was created from the original Greek in order to help readers experience the “vitality and directness” of the texts in the same way as the earliest audiences. It was not intended to be a study Bible. … [...]
I really appreciated your take on this quote. I had a similar response, and so I enjoyed considering your thoughts, too.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this week’s IOW quote.
Be blessed today and always.
eph2810’s last blog post..This Feed Powered by FeedBurner.com
Gentleness is the heart and soul of all wisdom! It’s a part of being humble, I think.
This is a wonderful post.
God bless.
Love is the engine that move our inner attitudes and actions. When we talk about Love, we talk about God. With God in our lives, there is a noticeable change not only saw by us, the rest notices it which is admirable. Part of that change is being gentleness, but again loving and feeling loved is the beginning.
I agree with you. Although gentleness may come more naturally to women (I am using generalization here), it doesn’t mean God does not expect it from men as well.
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