Thy Will Be Done

“Momma prayed, momma cried, momma laid awake at night.
She would fight my battles while I slept away
Cause momma knew life is hard
without somebody on your side
I don’t know how, but there is power in the way
The way my momma prayed.”
~~ Words and Music by Jeremiah Olson (40 Miles North) ~~

Free will.

It’s a parent’s worst nightmare.

There comes a point at which you can no longer control the choices your child makes. Eventually, they have to stand on their own as independent beings. Ask any parent of an adult child if they ever stop worrying, fretting, wishing, hoping for their child and they will confirm that the job of parenting does not end until the day the parent either dies or becomes too incapacitated to continue functioning in the role. Once a parent, always a parent.

But parents have to learn an important lesson: They must let go, stand back and stand silent, observing the child’s forays into the world. That’s why I consider free will a parent’s worst nightmare. Parents have the benefit of life experience, worldliness. Parents can see their children hurling toward disaster, but must let the child learn from his/her own mistakes, just as the parent him/herself did.

Did you ever tell your parents to “butt out — it’s my life! It’s my decision!” I sure did. Did you ever accuse your parents of hovering over you, smothering you, not letting you find your “own way in the world” or words to that effect? I’m guilty on all counts. I had some monumental struggles with my parents. I thought they were unsophisticated and over-protective. They thought I was reckless, foolish and too stubborn to heed their wise counsel. All three of us were right. All three of us were wrong. Like most folks, we lived through all of it and our relationship transitioned into a comfortable alliance of older and younger generation, especially after they became grandparents.

But there is one thing of which I am certain: We survived that generational rite of passage because of their prayers.

While I was busy rebelling, hanging out with the “wrong crowd,” learning lessons the only way I ever seem capable of, i.e., the “hard way,” they were at home praying for me.

There comes a point in every parent’s life when, in relationship to his/her child, there is really only one thing left to do: Pray.

Sometimes parents see their child not relying upon the faith structure within which they he/she was raised. Or the child goes through a period of questioning and, perhaps, abandons altogether the beliefs his/her parents strove every day to impart to that child so that he/she would adopt those beliefs and live his/her life in accordance with them. Such times try the parents’faith.

On January 2, 2008, I shared the story of my friend whose son, a high school senior, told her that he is an atheist. Her reaction?

“I don’t believe for a moment that he’s really become an atheist. I raised him to believe and I think this is just a rebellious phase that he is going through. I think he told me he doesn’t believe in God as much for shock value as anything else. And to test me. But I’m not worried about it because he will work things out for himself and be just fine.”

And then she added, “Besides, I pray for him like crazy and I have faith that my prayers will be heard.” She smiled as she said that.

My friend and her son are doing just fine. She understands that prayer is the most powerful force in the universe. She understands, as does the songwriter who penned this week’s quote, that there is power in the way that she prays for, loves and supports her child. She does not demand overtly that he conform to her notions about how he should think, believe and behave.

Rather, in the quiet of her heart, she prays that he will find his way to a faith model that he can claim as his own. She prays that he will remain safe, make wise choices and succeed. She prays that his dreams will be fulfilled and ends each prayer with that simple, but profound, phrase that we all repeat daily: “Thy will be done.”

Because when there is nothing left to do, a parent not only prays, but prays those words, exercising his/her faith by surrendering to the will of the Divine Creator to be manifested in the life of his/her child, knowing that all truths, along with righteousness and salvation lie within that unknowable, but merciful will.

Thanks go to Heather at Titus 2 Woman for hosting this week! Drop by and read the other participants’ discussion of this week’s quote.

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