Reflections on Proposition 8: California’s Shame (Part One)

by Hopeful Spirit on Sunday, December 28, 2008

What is one thing you will com­mit to do in 2009 that will draw you closer to Jesus?
(This is not a New Year’s Resolution)

Ma’am, I’d like to talk to you about Propo­si­tion 8.”

It was a sunny Sat­ur­day morn­ing in North­ern Cal­i­for­nia, just a lit­tle after 10:00 a.m. I was not yet dressed, so I answered the door in my robe. The man I found stand­ing on my doorstep, lean­ing on the rail­ing casu­ally, had a stack of pam­phlets and other lit­er­a­ture in his hand. He looked like an out of uni­form sol­dier — his hair was cut short, neatly trimmed and combed into place. His plaid button-down shirt was as crisply pressed as his Dock­ers trousers which boasted a per­fectly lined crease down the front of each unwrin­kled leg.

I instinc­tively knew when I glanced at him for the first time that this well-groomed, polite gen­tle­man and I would find no com­mon ground on the issue at hand.

I don’t really think we have any­thing to talk about, but thanks for stop­ping by,” I said as gen­tly as I could as I began slowly clos­ing the door.

Mar­riage is between a man and a woman, ma’am,” he said hur­riedly in a ploy to stop me from ter­mi­nat­ing our brief encounter.

It worked.

I quickly pulled the door open fully and replied, “I don’t believe that,” chal­leng­ing him to defend his posi­tion.  I could have told him I didn’t wish to dis­cuss the issue fur­ther or that I had already made up my mind about how I intended to vote or … pro­vided an infi­nite num­ber of other rea­sons why the two of us should not spend time on that beau­ti­ful autumn morn­ing argu­ing with each other about an issue about which we both knew we would never achieve consensus.

Instead, he took my bait. “But that’s what the Bible says,” he continued.

I felt my cheeks get­ting hot and knew that if I looked in a mir­ror at that pre­cise moment, I would see that my ears were as bright as Rudolph’s nose on Christ­mas Eve.  As though I were two sep­a­rate beings, part of me recoiled at the invi­ta­tion to debate the man who had ded­i­cated his Sat­ur­day morn­ing to ring­ing the door­bells of total strangers in order to press his case.  While another part of me eagerly spoiled for the fight.

Look, I’ve stud­ied the Bible — all pas­sages that could even remotely be inter­preted as relat­ing to this issue.  At length.  I sim­ply don’t believe as you believe.  I have no desire to stand here argu­ing with you because nei­ther of us is going to con­vince the other of the cor­rect­ness of our posi­tion.  So how about if we just agree to dis­agree?  You have a nice day,” I said, as I again began to shut the door.

Can I leave you some lit­er­a­ture to read about what the Bible really says about mar­riage?” he queried.

I fell back on the response I always pro­vide when some­one rings my door­bell to push an agenda with which I dis­agree.  “Sure.  Leave me all of it!” I said enthusiastically.

Oh!  Well … sure, I guess I could do that.  Will you dis­trib­ute it to your friends and cowork­ers?” he said innocently.

No,” I replied sin­cerely.  “I’m going to burn it.”

At that moment, our eyes met and he finally accepted that he would not suc­ceed in con­vert­ing me.  Still … he was not quite ready to con­cede total defeat.

I see that there is another reg­is­tered voter liv­ing in this house.  Is ______ at home?  Could I talk to him?  Do you know how he will be vot­ing?” he asked.

No, he’s not home.  And he will be vot­ing ‘no’ just as I will,” I replied matter-of-factly.

With that, he prac­ti­cally ran down the steps, mum­bling “have a nice day” as he scur­ried toward the sidewalk.

That after­noon, I pur­chased my first “No on 8″ sign and installed it on my front lawn.  By the time Novem­ber 4, 2008, rolled around, how­ever, there was no longer a sign there — three “No on 8″ signs had been stolen from my front yard in the weeks just prior to the election.

The evening of Novem­ber 4, 2008, brought mixed bless­ings. I was joy­ous when I saw the words “President-Elect Obama” flash on the tele­vi­sion screen as the major news net­works declared the elec­tion results. But hope turned to despair in the ensu­ing hours and days as the bal­lots were counted and it became clear that a major­ity of Cal­i­for­nia vot­ers approved of inject­ing dis­crim­i­na­tion into the state’s constitution.

The protests around the state sig­naled that the fight for equal­ity was far from over.

This time of year, we sing about angelic choirs bring­ing glad tid­ings of “peace on earth, good will toward men.”  I have never suc­ceeded in rec­on­cil­ing those car­ols with pas­sages such as this one:

Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daugh­ter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s ene­mies will be those of his own house­hold. Who­ever loves father or mother more than me is not wor­thy of me, and who­ever loves son or daugh­ter more than me is not wor­thy of me. And who­ever does not take his cross and fol­low me is not wor­thy of me. Who­ever finds his life will lose it, and who­ever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Matthew 10:34–39

The mod­ern lan­guage trans­la­tion, The Mes­sage, puts it this way:

Don’t think I’ve come to make life cozy. I’ve come to cut—make a sharp knife-cut between son and father, daugh­ter and mother, bride and mother-in-law—cut through these cozy domes­tic arrange­ments and free you for God. Well-meaning fam­ily mem­bers can be your worst ene­mies. If you pre­fer father or mother over me, you don’t deserve me. If you pre­fer son or daugh­ter over me, you don’t deserve me.

If you don’t go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don’t deserve me. If your first con­cern is to look after your­self, you’ll never find your­self. But if you for­get about your­self and look to me, you’ll find both your­self and me.”

Matthew 10:34–39

The truth is that when that nice gen­tle­man rang my door­bell, I felt as com­pelled to speak the truth, as I believe it, as he felt called to get up on that day and spend his valu­able time knock­ing on the doors of strangers in order to con­vince them to vote for Propo­si­tion 8. I have no doubt that he believed he was doing the right thing.  Since the odds are good that we both claim to be believ­ers and fol­low­ers of Christ, there is also a good chance that he, like me, would claim inspi­ra­tion from the Spirit to speak out in favor of our core beliefs.

Is that notion plau­si­ble when he, along with his fel­low Chris­tians who voted for and assured the pas­sage of Propo­si­tion 8, was not just mis­guided, but flat-out wrong?  Com­pletely, if you take Jesus at his word in stat­ing his true pur­pose for tak­ing on human form.

Click here to read Part Two.


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Non-Fiction, Phil­io­soph­i­cal, Opin­ion Piece

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Brought to you by Plot­Dog Press with the Ser­ial Sus­pense Screen­play “Inter­ven­tion.”

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{ 13 comments }

1 Faith and Facts Wednesday, December 31, 2008 at 9:05 pm

I find it hard to believe you have, “…stud­ied the Bible — all pas­sages that could even remotely be inter­preted as relat­ing to this issue. At length.” and con­clude that the bib­li­cal pat­tern for mar­riage is any­thing other than a man and a woman. There are over 100 verses that refer to a father and a mother. Eph 5:31 says, “For this rea­son a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

While you are free in this coun­try to believe what you want, you are not really free, espe­cially if you claim to be a Chris­t­ian, to mis­state the Bible.

Faith and Facts´s lat­est blog post: Merry Xmas 2008

2 Viola Jaynes Thursday, January 1, 2009 at 9:10 am

Thank you, Hope­ful Spirit! I wish you a won­der­ful and very mean­ing­ful New Year! Thank you for your faith­ful con­tri­bu­tions on the blogsphere!

Viola Jaynes´s lat­est blog post: New Years Wishes For You

3 Emery Thursday, January 1, 2009 at 1:25 pm

First, I wish you a Happy New Year. May GOD enlighten you in all ways as He shines His light on our world.

… but how can you come to a con­clu­sion regard­ing rela­tion­ships that is so at odds with life-giving? Friend­ships are won­der­ful but they do not form mar­riage no mat­ter how you cut it.

As a Cal­i­forn­ian who is sad­dened by our slid­ing slope of moral­ity and the need to speak for life and all GOD means that to include, I was com­pelled to vote for Prop 8. But I can still love you and even your part­ner with­out con­don­ing the acts that do not line up in any way with GOD.

Be blessed with all righteousness!

Hopeful Spirit 4 Hopeful Spirit Thursday, January 1, 2009 at 2:42 pm

@Emery: Why do you assume that any rela­tion­ship must be “life-giving” in order to be valid? And why do you assume that I am gay as is evi­dent by your use of the term “partner”?

There are many mar­riages — same and oppo­site sex — that do not include chil­dren. Still more into which chil­dren are incor­po­rated by means other than con­cep­tion and child­birth. Are you say­ing that those mar­riages are not valid or wor­thy of recog­ni­tion sim­ply because they don’t involve “life-giving” in the tra­di­tional sense? What then would you say to those chil­dren of such relationships?

More­over, it is dan­ger­ous to make assump­tions. I am not, in fact, les­bian, bisex­ual or trans­gen­dered. I am a het­ero­sex­ual woman and have been mar­ried to a man for many years. That does not mean that I can­not stand in sol­i­dar­ity and fight for equal­ity with my gay, les­bian, bisex­ual and trans­gen­dered broth­ers and sisters.

Lastly, you have the right to believe as you see fit and wor­ship accord­ingly. How­ever, the prob­lem with Propo­si­tion 8 is that too many like your­self were unable to sep­a­rate the reli­gious from the sec­u­lar. Propo­si­tion 8 has NOTHING to do with reli­gion or reli­gious beliefs. It is a SECULAR law and, as such, sub­ject to Con­sti­tu­tional scrutiny which is can­not pass as I pre­dict the Cal­i­for­nia Supreme Court will declare. Sadly, too many peo­ple, voted, as you appar­ently did, from a place of reli­gious con­vic­tion rather than under­stand­ing of the civil sys­tem of laws. That’s why it passed, but it will not stand.

Chris­tians in diverse cul­tures such as Cal­i­for­nia must learn that they can­not impose their will, beliefs, tra­di­tions, and prac­tices on soci­ety as a whole.

More­over, there are many, many Chris­tians who, like me, have stud­ied the Bible and con­cluded that it does not say what the patri­ar­chal church has insisted for cen­turies that it says on the issue of sex­ual ori­en­ta­tion, as well as many other subjects.

Your “scale of moral­ity” is not mine and that is ok. You can live in accor­dance with your moral com­pass and I with mine. But nei­ther of us can impose our “scale of moral­ity” upon other per­sons via the gov­ern­ment and enact­ment of laws that are bla­tantly dis­crim­i­na­tory and serve to deny equal rights to all per­sons irre­spec­tive of their reli­gious beliefs or lack thereof.

You and I can love each other, but you do not have a right to judge me. You can believe what you want about human nature and behav­ior, but it is not your place to “con­done” or not “con­done” my choices. It is sim­ply your place to offer uncon­di­tional love, accep­tance, patience, and most impor­tantly, tolerance!

Happy New Year!

Hopeful Spirit 5 Hopeful Spirit Thursday, January 1, 2009 at 2:58 pm

@Faith and Facts: Where, pre­cisely, did I “mis­state the Bible”? I would love to hear how I did that, in your esti­ma­tion. I stated that I have stud­ied the Bible thor­oughly and do not beleve that it can be used to deny equal rights under the law to any per­son or group of per­sons. I’m sure that you do find that “hard to believe” because you have obvi­ously come to a dif­fer­ent con­clu­sion. But that’s how it is and that’s why Chris­tians need to agree to dis­agree in a lov­ing, Christ-like manner.

How­ever, as to a mat­ter of civil rights under our sys­tem of laws, there is no room for dis­agree­ment founded upon the reli­gious beliefs of one group. Nor can the reli­gious beliefs of any group(s) be allowed to trump the sec­u­lar rights granted to any person(s) under the state or fed­eral Constitution.

Sex­ual ori­en­ta­tion is pro­tected under the law. There­fore, mar­riage can­not be denied to per­sons of the sex on the basis of their ori­en­ta­tion. That is just how the law is writ­ten and the courts are finally rec­og­niz­ing that fact.

This argu­ment is no dif­fer­ent than argu­ments in pre­vi­ous decades related to the rights of women or per­sons of color. Exactly the same rhetoric is being thrown around by the reli­gious right in this coun­try to resist same-sex mar­riage as was used to argue that mis­ce­genis­tic laws (pro­hibit­ing the mar­riage or cohab­i­ta­tion of per­sons of dif­fer­ent races) should remain on the books.

For the record, those laws remained intact well into this cen­tury. In fact, the man who is about to be our next Pres­i­dent was born to a man and woman who, under the law of that time, could not marry because one was black and the other white.

Sadly, there are still many churches that aren’t even dis­cussing the issue of ordain­ing women, much less same-sex mar­riage. To me, that’s bar­baric. Of course, I come from a life­time of mem­ber­ship in a group that began ordain­ing women in 1970.

For me, those his­tor­i­cal real­i­ties put this issue into per­spec­tive and com­pels only one conclusion.

6 yinyang Friday, January 2, 2009 at 8:32 am

Happy belated New Year! I eagerly await the next post(s) in this series.

yinyang´s lat­est blog post: Jon Stew­art as Willy Wonka? Dick Cheney as Elmer Fudd?

7 Melissan Friday, January 2, 2009 at 10:01 am

I am so thank­ful to be liv­ing in Mass­a­chu­setts where my wife and I live in peace and quiet. We are expect­ing a baby in April and hap­pily mar­ried, just like any other ordi­nary family.

Melissan´s lat­est blog post: Why I Love to Watch the Biggest Loser

8 Not Fainthearted Friday, January 2, 2009 at 10:48 am

thank you, Hope­ful Spirit, for all you said to the young man on your doorstep and to the com­menters here. I can only hope to be so elo­quent when I am called on in sim­i­lar circumstance.

Bless­ings on you and yours in 2009!

Not Fainthearted´s lat­est blog post: Fri­day Five — First Edi­tion 2009

9 Kevin Monday, January 5, 2009 at 7:23 am

Happy belated New Year! I eagerly await the next post(s) in this series.

10 Personal Development articles Tuesday, January 13, 2009 at 1:50 am

Mar­riage is between a man and a woman, ma’am,” he said hur­riedly in a ploy to stop me from ter­mi­nat­ing our brief encounter.

11 Asbestos Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 8:43 pm

We are expect­ing a baby in April and hap­pily mar­ried, just like any other ordi­nary family.

12 luxury perfume Saturday, January 17, 2009 at 9:16 am

It was very good post, it helped me in find­ing a good affil­i­ate, thanks.

13 derl Friday, February 6, 2009 at 6:29 pm

i hate any­one who comes door to door and both­ers me even if i do agree with their mes­sage i want them gone

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