August 9, 2007
I didn’t feel thankful today. I didn’t feel like a “Hopeful Spirit,” either. I felt depressed, discouraged and disappointed.
I really wanted something and did not get it. I thought for sure that I would because all the objective signs and indicators led to that conclusion but, at the last minute, I didn’t. So it was sort of a “double whammy” in the sense that I thought I had it “sewn up” and the people around me were telling me that it appeared to be a “done deal”.
I almost skipped Thankful Thursday.
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August 2, 2007
In my travels for business this week, I encountered a gentleman who shared with me that his 46 year old wife is dying of cancer. It was first diagnosed in her breast, but has now metastasized in her brain. It has also invaded her bones.
The cancer was extremely fast-moving and chemotherapy failed to stop its progress. Because the doctors were provided with erroneous laboratory test results, the wrong type of chemotherapy was apparently used. Now that the cancer has essentially taken over her whole body, it is too late for the doctors to prescribe the correct type of chemotherapy — which might have provided a cure or at least remission for a significant period of time.
I asked him how he is doing and he brushed my inquiry aside, insisting that he will be all right. I also questioned whether he has sought out a competent counselor or therapist with whom he can confide and explore his feelings. He has not done that yet, but assured me that he will. He acknowledged that the stress is taking a toll on his physical health and is following his doctor’s directives because he will be left to care for their children by himself.
As the husband facing this catastrophe continued speaking with me, I studied his eyes for further clues to his feelings. I expected to see anger, resentment, bitterness. I expected his speech to be punctuated by clues to his intense emotional struggle with the reality that he is losing his wife as a result of another human being’s mistake.
My search was in vain.
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